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Advise needed!! Any lawyer here pls help!!!

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  • Advise needed!! Any lawyer here pls help!!!

    Hi guy,
    I'm facing a problem and would like to seek advise from fellowforumer..
    I would like to know if I would like to file a separation meaning divorce with my wife , do I need any special reason?
    How much will the fees be like for divorce?
    We have a Bto flat coming nxt yr and if I file a divorce what will happen to the flat??
    If money have to be involved in giving her monthly, is it basic and adjusted according to my pay that is reflected on my cpf contribution??


    Thx lots!! I hope all fellow forumer will help in clearing all the doubt and answering all my question!


    I'm facing a lots of stress toward her and I really cannot tolerant her nonsense behavior anymore! Demanding and unreasonable is the word to describe her! I have tolerant her for the past 3 yes almost 4!

  • #2
    Hi bro, I'm not a lawyer but can share with you some experience I encountered from people around me.

    From what I know, usual reason for separation/divorce is infidelity with evidence, which dun apply in your case. In your description, most likely u can use "unreasonble behavior", some example includes "refusal to consumate". I'm sure the lawyer can give many "farfetched" examples that is hard to validate for input. However, the potential risk is a long drawn court battle if your wife refuse to back down. Furthermore, things will get very ugly as there are going to be lotsa accusations, both real and fake.

    For the flat, upon divorce, I believe the flat will be repossessed by HDB to be resold. It not like you can choose to sell at what price and things like that. HDB will then return the funds back to the both of you according to the divorce settlement agreement.

    Lastly, it's really sad if things have to come to such an end. Have the 2 of you tried out all avenues, like going to a marriage counsellor together? Just as a final attempt?

    If really decided to separate, is it possible to have a good talk, maybe with some "middleman" present, to talk out the terms amicably. I remember seeing an article somewhere in ST where married couples live under same roof ONLY, but wait for the 5years before they sell HDB and split the spoilts, while having their own partners or social life.
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    • #3
      bro,

      when me and my ex-wife divorce. our divorce case drag about 2year plus to 3 year. cos me and my ex-wife disagree on many things..
      about monthly maintenance, i give the whole house to my ex-wife without taking back any money and in exchange that i don't give my ex-wife any maintenance.. the lawyer will be in a better position to advise u

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      • #4
        Best is if both parties can have an amicable divorce. Otherwise, be prepared for a drawn-out episode which can seriously wear you down... I suppose another alternative is as kadios said, to sell off the flat and split the money. It'd be easier that way, and you don't even have to stay under the same roof - one party just move out lor.

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        • #5
          Everyone has a different story,it would be much better that you seek a lawyer and discuss with him.

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          • #6
            Hmmm,

            I do not have much experience married (about 3 years, anniversary is tomorrow) but my best advice is to throw the possibility of divorce out of the window first...

            Seek a marriage counsellor to get a "referee" for whats actually happening in the marriage before seeking to divorce. Many times unreasonable behaviour could only be the point of view of one side in a marriage, a bystander (neutral) is always gonna be a better way to get a clear view of whats happening.

            Although divorce is no longer much of a social stigma, i believe you should aim to resolve rather than dissolve the marriage. If your wife is unwilling to go to a marriage counsellor only then should you think of getting a divorce. If its you who refuse, then i think you need to be willing to find whether what you have said is the truth. I do not hold back any views on this matter and due to my beliefs in life (which in fact every religious belief do not actually tolerate divorce except in extreme conditions) i think a marriage counsellor is the best solution for your problems now.

            If you have exhausted all means especially what the others have mentioned, only then should you think of divorce.

            As for flat, 99.9999999% HDB will repossess and most of the time, you guys forfeit the deposit, like what happened to my friend.
            Most men are likely to have to give wife alimony due to protection from women's charter. HArd to get out my friend - Unless wife is guilty of infidelity.

            With all the odds against you, try for the counsellor route before anything.

            Hope i have not ruffled any feathers here. Just a clear stand i have.
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            • #7
              Well, in the end it's your own final decision.

              I am no lawyer. I can only give some opinion from what I know.

              1. Flat will have to return to HDB. Unless you can work something out to sell first. Which is rather hard.

              2. Without children, and your wife is working, she can't claim much maintenance.
              With children you will have to pay the amount "lifestyle they accustomed to"

              Really need a lawyer for the details.
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              • #8
                if u have to pay maintenance for ex-wife. have to pay until ex-wife remarry or marry again.
                if got children, the judge will see and depend how much have to pay. ask a lawyer, they will be in a better position to advise u

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