MJ ghost seen at memorial.
Nav Ad Widget - Mobile
Collapse
Nav Ad Widget - Desktop
Collapse
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.
funny jokes, video etc
Collapse
X
-
There was this couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on and read a book.
As he was reading he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling with her between the legs. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "Why are you taking all your clothes off?"
The wife replied, "You were playing with me down there. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier."
The husband said, "No, not at all."
The wife then asked, "Well, what were you doing then?"
"Oh", he said, "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!"
Comment
-
A boy decided to have a dinner with his girlfriend parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
Comment
-
A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, 'I wish I had bigger tits'. The boyfriend says 'well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months'. 'How will that help to make my tits bigger?' asks the girlfriend.
'Well it worked for your ass' says the boyfriend.
-------------------
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
-------------------
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
-------------------
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. It was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
-----------------------
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "The morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
-----------------------
A man walks into a watch and clock store, unzips his trousers and slaps his cock on the counter. The woman behind the counter doesn't bat an eyelid. She looks him straight in the eye and says "Put that away Sir, this is a clock shop - not a cock shop!" "Well," replies the man, "Why don't you put two hands and a face on it?"
Comment
-
Oceanklassik was surfing sg-roc on the internet whn his son pop into the room....
son: papa, can u tell me where did i come from ?
ocean: later lah, papa surfing internet lah.....
son: no no no pa pa, now now now .....
ocean: okie okie ........
one day, papa & mama was surfing in the room, papa connect to your mama there, thn your mama took my memory stick and download something. after papa uploaded, realise there's no firewall and your mama didnt have antivirus. was trying hard to delete, but it's too late.... so after 9 mths u come to tis world ... u get it ??
son: okie, got it, i am a virus
Comment
-
Blond Joke
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond... "They're watch dogs!"
Comment
Footer Ad Widget - Desktop
Collapse
Footer Ad Widget - Mobile
Collapse
Comment